Ducks in a Row

Wouldn’t it be amazing if things were just black and white? Simple. No uncertainty. We would know whether or not to let go of something. We would know how to balance the simultaneous need for structure and routine and impulsivity. We wouldn’t have to wonder if the person we just talked to secretly hated us. We wouldn’t have to question whether or not to follow our gut.

As it turns out, that’s not the way the world works.

One thing that has been seared into my brain from grad school is “It depends.” The world is full of nuance and uncertainty and contradictions and messiness. There is no “right answer” or “right time.”

Of course our human brains don’t like that. So we suppress feelings and thoughts we don’t like. We ignore that little voice in our heads screaming “you know better than this!” as we turn unhealthy habits into patterns. We hinder ourselves because change requires uncertainty. We put things off because we want to get our ducks in a row first. We tell ourselves that once *such and such* happens, everything will be better.

One way to combat this is through radical acceptance.

Rather than spending hours trying to explain that technique and figuring out how to include the multitude of ideas swimming around my head (such as Season 2, Episode 2 of The Pitt which explores trusting your gut)—I’m going to practice it and move on with my day.

My ducks are far from being aligned and that is okay.